Off Topic Productions

When will they release cell phones with a function to block drunken calls to their exes?

An experienced person will always estimate the amount he plans to drink, multiply it by two and only then make the purchase.

A little tip for those who recruit low-skilled staff: call the applicant in the evening, if he is sober - you should take him.

Just in case you want something cold in the heat, put three or four bottles of beer in the fridge.
Just in case you don't feel like it, put a couple more bottles in the fridge.

From a phone conversation:
- Hello! No, I told you, I don't remember the password... What?! What do you mean, use the mind wormhole?!